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Whenever l experienced this numb Feeling l knew l was trapped. Have you ever noticed that the natural flow of life is to keep moving?
We are always travelling from one experience and emotion to the next. We cannot sustain pure happiness or sorrow tor huge lengths of time without the tiniest interval of something else.
So the numbness alerted me to the tact that l was stuck, and stuck in a really shitty place, imprisoned in this thick fog with no way out. It was like a bland and blank page of nothingness.
Even my natural aptitude for gathering happiness from nostalgia was sucked dry. Everything felt quite dead, drained and shell-like. The only thing that would awaken me from this state was the shocking Feeling of panic.
My heartbeat would quicken and bile would rush to my throat. It was like waking up from a night’s sleep to find yourself running a marathon. It was disorientating and scary.
~ Fearne Cotton
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