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How many guys do you meet in an average week?
And when I say “meet,” I refer to a genuine social interaction, where you engage with a man, eye contact and all, for anywhere from five minutes of chatting to a full two-hour conversation. But it has to be a conversation, not just collecting your mail from the postman (unless of course he? new and you turn him into a social connection).
If your answer is none, or even one, how long do you think it’s going to take you to meet the guy? I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt: let’s say you meet one new man every week. How long will it take to meet Mr. Right if you are meeting only one new man in an average week? I’m not a mathematician, but the odds are pretty long. What makes them even longer is that these interactions are probably happening by chance, and certainly not because they are men you have selected yourself.
This isn’t the case for only you. If I asked the same question of a male reader, the number would be just as small. Both sexes are guilty of leaving their love lives to chance. Blame it on the fairy tales we’re read as kids, blame it on Hollywood, but the fact remains that we’ve come to believe that true love is the product of fate.
We’ve all been led to believe that someday it will just “happen,” that one day fate will drop the person of our dreams right next to us while we’re standing at a stoplight. The fate-will-bring-me-love approach lacks urgency, which leads to lack of action. You assume that “when the time is right” the right guy will come along, and in the meantime, you focus on your work, your ambitions, your family, your friends, your hobbies.
That’s not to say that these are not all highly fulfilling aspects of your life in their own right, but I want to help you understand how within these essential parts of your life are opportunities to find the man of your dreams. When people put aside their love life to focus on these other areas, years pass, and one day the lack of urgency turns into panic.
We become frantic as we realize that not only is nothing happening in our love life, but we are at a loss as to how to make it happen, which of course leads to more panic, creating a loop of frustration, at best, or worse, hopelessness. You may be reading this book because you keep asking yourself (and perhaps your sisters, girlfriends, and coworkers), “Where are all the good men to be found?”
If you’re gradually coming to the realization that fate isn’t cooperating, you might be on the verge of seeing that you’re going to have to be proactive. You are going to have to go out and find him.
And how do you find him?
It’s a very simple principle:
To meet more men you have to, er, meet more men!
~ Matthew Hussey
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